Category Archives: helping others
Collectively, there has been a rising up of those who have felt victimized and repressed, especially by the feminine (an aspect that is in all of us – both women and men). This has also been occurring on the individual level within our own psyches as well. It is as if the parts of ourselves that we have undervalued have absolutely had it with being dismissed or ignored! It has also sparked off fear, as our inner and outer interactions are being asked to evolve. This is kicking up a lot of anger which is spilling out in our relationships. I have worked with many women lately who have been struggling with relationship challenges, often between the women in their family. Sadly, it has frequently lead to a complete breakdown in communication, causing a fracturing in the family.
Hearing about these conflicts, I have been pondering the question about what true feminine power looks like. It occurs to me that these dynamics are another example of how feminine power has been masquerading as a man. Feminine power is about wisdom, nurturing, cohesiveness, harmony and empowering the whole. It is about trusting the natural unfoldment of life, working with its rhythms, not trying to dictate them. The more masculine approach is individually focused and goal oriented. It is about action and doing, not being. This is not the true nature of the feminine or yin. Yet, isn’t that what is happening in these dynamics? Instead of the using of wisdom to bring people together so that all feel empowered and nurtured, it is as if we are suddenly so afraid of being left out in the cold that we are shoving our sisters out first.
When I asked for guidance about this, I was given a very powerful message. The message was that we all, men and women, need to start thinking of ourselves as part of one organism. While we don’t always realize it, we are connected energetically and telepathically to all those we know. They also said that anyone who shows up in your life, in your movie, is part of your whole, even the ones that you think you don’t want there or who don’t seem to want you! It is not to say that we have to stay involved with people who are abusive to us, but it does mean that those people are part of the whole and there to teach us something that is important to the functioning of the whole. For example, our body is one organism, but it has many individual parts. If the left leg decided the liver was disgusting because of its function to remove toxins from the body and tried to get rid of it, the body would die. We are made up of many parts and all parts are needed and none are truly more valuable than others. The organism thrives when each part is playing the role it was meant to play in the way it was meant to play it. When this becomes out of balance, the whole being suffers.
So what do we do with this information? I was guided to start asking myself in all situations, how will this impact the harmony of the whole that I am a part of and how will it impact my relationship to the larger whole which is Nature which we are dependent on? It is not a question of kicking people out of our movie, but instead asking ourselves, what is the best response from me that will feed the harmony of the whole in regards to this person? Is the conflict that is being created causing growth? Is it bringing to light places where we are too controlling of others, instead of trusting in the flow of life and the perfect timing of nature – what true feminine power is all about? Are we too focused on what others are doing while ignoring our own needs and interests? Are we overlooking the need for each individual to access their own wisdom, so that they can feel empowered? Are we welcoming and inviting to all or are we trying to exclude and control? What is going on for the other person from a spiritual perspective?
Going back to the metaphor of the body, imagine what would happen if the stomach was obsessed with how the lungs were breathing. Imagine it being so busy prodding the lungs to breathe when it thought it should, that it was unable to do its own job of digesting food! What a disaster that would be. Feminine wisdom (something we all possess – both men and women) knows that it is not necessary to control things. Nature knows what it is doing – just as our bodies do. If you look at most of the challenges we are having in our environment right now, they have come from getting out of balance with the needs of the whole and trying to control processes that we didn’t really understand. Could this also be said about the interactions with our loved ones? Perhaps each of us is doing exactly what we need to do with our lives, with the people we are meant to be doing to with, for our optimal spiritual growth and development. What if there is truly a bigger story here and we don’t need to try to control that story, but can instead trust that everything is unfolding in perfect, Divine order for the highest good of all?
Shifting from the thinking of trying to control the parts, we would instead focusing on feeding the harmony of the whole. We would work with the whole of our bodies, the whole of our families, the whole of our communities, the whole of our world. We would nurture, support, encourage, and allow each system to move into its perfect rhythm without trying to force it. We could relax, let go, and enjoy the absolutely perfection of each moment, even the moments that challenge us.
When I asked for guidance on how to work toward this more harmonious approach, the following steps were suggested:
When someone challenges you…
1. Say thank you in your heart. “Thank you for bringing to my awareness that which is no longer in resonance for me. Thank you for helping me to see something I believe that is not good for me that has created this challenge. Thank you, for at the soul level, I know you are my friend.”
2. Ask yourself how you can feed the harmony of the whole in this situation? If the person who is challenging you seems controlling, ask yourself, is there somewhere in my life where I need to trust more and let go of control? If the person is unkind, ask yourself is there somewhere in my life that I am being unkind or judgmental of myself or others? Let the person be a mirror that helps you more deeply understand yourself.
3. Send love and peace to the person who challenges you. We want the whole organism to thrive because it is the only way that each part will thrive. Pray for the person. Pray that they find the wisdom they need. Pray that they feel loved and safe. Pray that you can allow them to find their way, as you work to find your own. Just as you may feel unhappy when your head hurts, the best way to get the head to feel better is to send love its way. To do things that nurture yourself and to be kind to yourself. The same is true within our dynamics with others.
4. Be patient. Nature has its own timing. Things may not shift as quickly as you like, but things are changing. Let it unfold. Breathe, focus on what is going well in your life, and love. Trust. The Creator has it all under control, so you can relax and trust that in the end all is working for your good.
Thank you for being part of my whole!
Sending love and gratitude,