Build Courage


I find it quite a “God Wink” that the pre-determined topic for this month’s newsletter  is courage, based on the archetype (aspect of the personality) focus of the Warrior.  This aspect as defined by Carol Pearson’s book, Awakening the Heroes Within:  Twelve Archetypes to Help Us Find Ourselves and Transform Our World has the gift of courage, discipline and skill.  It “fights” for what really matters.  As I sit here writing this, my husband and I are waiting for a call from his doctor.  He had a small tumor removed from his left abdominal wall this week and the doctor sent it out to be tested to determine if it is malignant or benign.  This tumor was found through a test for a completely different matter.  It went from “probably being a cyst” to where we are now…the great unknown.   This is definitely a time when we both need our inner warrior.

Frankly, the Warrior has never been a favorite of mine.  The Magician, Ruler, and the Creator are the archetypes I’ve been most comfortable with.  How interesting that I find myself in a time where the qualities I’ve been most resistant to are exactly the ones that I need!  Last month’s orphan work (February’s focus) really stood me well as this whole situation unfolded with my husband.  How amazed and comforted I was when I saw that my orphan had done its work.  It had helped me to develop support systems of fellow orphans, those who have been wounded in their own dance with life, and how these orphans offered their wisdom, their kindness, and their love.  The innocent within has played its part as well.  It has allowed me to have faith in positive outcomes.  To believe that God and the Universe are working toward my highest good and the highest good of those I love. Those pre-dawn whispers of assurance and love have kept me strong in the face of the “what ifs” that push to be heard.  The warrior within has given me the ability to stay in myself, to be there, to love, to support, but not to become.  The caregiver in me longs to walk this with my husband as if I was in his shoes in the vain hope that somehow I could make it easier for us both, but the warrior in me holds me back.  The warrior reminds me that how I can best help is to see my husband’s strength.  To know he has within him what he needs to heal and to grow beyond fear.  To see his power and his strength and to recognize that he is doing exactly what he needs to do for his own growth.  I honor that in him and so doing, I find it in myself.

Are you experiencing a situation that evokes fear in your own life?

If you are, you aren’t alone.  Just a few minutes watching the news will show you that.  I believe this push to face our fears is all part of the process of preparing us for a more joyous and peaceful way of living.  As we draw to us those experiences that challenge us to stay in a place of love, we build the muscles that allow us to do this consistently.  We all have coping patterns that we developed at an early age to get through the scary experiences of life.  I know for me, those patterns no longer work. It’s time to develop a new approach.  I have been shown through guidance that this is occurring collectively.  Some of us are aware this is happening and some of us are being dragged through the experience blindly.  Awareness doesn’t mean we escape the pain of growing, but it does make it a little easier to believe it is all happening for good purpose.

Of course, the life coach in me feels most at peace when I have a game plan for how to bring about change.  My spiritual support team (Angels, Archangels, Guides, and Ascended Masters) have shown me a way to handle fear as it comes up.  I was vainly hoping I’d just get to a place where I no longer felt fear, but I’m realizing that just isn’t how it works (at least not for me).  Instead, I need to learn how to handle fear.  To build those muscles that allows me to get through challenging situations in the best way possible.  So here’s what I’ve been working with.  I hope it helps you as well!

A Game Plan for Building Your Courage Muscles

1.  Acknowledge your feelings.  I’ve found for myself and many of my clients there is a temptation to skip this step.  When faced with something there isn’t an immediate solution for, it seems pointless to listen to our fears, worries, and sadness.  After all, if we can’t fix it, how does it help to express it?  It does help though.  Think of a child you know.  Have you noticed that when a child is upset, the process of expressing what they are feeling often brings them to a better place, even if they don’t get what they want?  Just being heard and having the release brings healing.  Try writing in a journal, talking to a friend, or having a conversation directly with your inner child to provide the opportunity to express what needs to be shared.  It’s the first step to shifting from fear to love, as it is the loving thing to listen to ourselves, even when we don’t like what is being said.

2.  Comfort yourself. I am a firm believer in the importance of caring for yourself as you would a most beloved child.  Wouldn’t you comfort your child if he/she was upset?  Do the same thing for yourself.  Give yourself a hug.  Do something for yourself that is soothing.  Call a friend and let them comfort you too.  Taking good care of ourselves is another vital step in being able to focus on love instead of fear.  Knowing that you will love and care for yourself at all times makes it difficult for fear to get the best of you.

3.  Set an Intention. Now that you’ve expressed your feelings and provided comfort, it is time to be clear about what you intend.  Say aloud or write down exactly what you want to happen.  For example, “I intend for my husband to be healthy and well and for us to have many happy, joyous years ahead .”  You may want to set more than one intention.  I also added this one, “I intend to be safe and secure on all levels and to have a happy and joyous future.”  The point of the intention is to make it clear what you intend to happen.  This should make you feel better.  Play with it until you get something that makes you feel peaceful and relaxed.

4.  Ask for Divine Help. I have experienced first- hand evidence that we aren’t alone here. We do have amazing spiritual beings who love us dearly and are here to help us.  Ask them for help.  I asked Spirit to manifest my intentions and also to bring me any and all support I could receive both on the Earth plane and Spirit plane.  Be willing to receive love, support, and help.  Be thankful when it appears.

5.  Surrender the Worry. This is another step that most of us have a tough time with.  Once the nervous system gets activated, adrenaline and other stress hormones will flood your system. This physiological experience requires some type of action.  Since typically the thing that is challenging us isn’t something you can run from or fight, we try to fight it with our minds.  We keep thinking about what we are afraid of in the hopes of coming up with a solution that can make us feel safe.  Often, we’ll start buying into one of the “what ifs” based on insufficient facts because the brain is very uncomfortable with inputing data and not coming up with a conclusion.  The best thing to do for this is to steadfastly refuse to keep thinking about the thing you are afraid of.  When the thought comes up, simply repeat your intention and remind yourself that God has it all under control.  If that doesn’t work, then do the whole plan above again.  This really is where the muscle building comes in.  Most of us (me included) have built a lot of worry muscles over the years.   Now we are choosing not to use them.  The goal is to keep your nervous system settled.  Focusing on something we are afraid of leads to all those stress hormones flooding the system, which is only going to make you feel worse.  Would you feed your child on fear?  I’m sure you wouldn’t!  So don’t feed your inner child on it either.

6.  Focus on Something Else. The last step of the process is to find what is there for you to do.  Does your house need to be cleaned?  Do you need to get the grocery shopping done?  Is it a good time to exercise?  Stay in the moment you are in and do what is before you to do.  Let yourself get caught up in something unrelated to what you are worried about.  The longer you can go without worrying, the better you will feel, and the more able you will be to handle what you need to.  When your mind starts to slip, just gently pull it back.  You can do this!

So there’s the plan.  I’ve been employing it myself and it is really helping.  I can’t say I’ve got it down perfectly.  As I mentioned, I’ve got forty some years of worry muscles built up.  I am, though, committed to my own healing (and I do recognize that this is also happening for my growth, not just my husband’s).  I am ready to be free from letting worry consume me.  I’m ready to trust my inner warrior again.  I hope you decide to do the same.

Many blessings and much love to you all!
Nancy

Nancy Nicholas is an Intuitive Life Coach offering Empowerment Readings, Empowerment Clubs, Sensitive Person Mentoring, and a Soul Friends Community. She is the author of Soul Friends Guide to Surviving the Pit: A Step-by-Step Handbook for Surviving and Thriving Through Tough Life Changes  (available at Amazon.com and other retail bookstores).  For a free Empowerment Packet and to learn more about Nancy’s work, visit her website: http://www.EmpoweringLightworkers.com.

About Nancy Nicholas-Intuitive Life Coach

Nancy Nicholas is an intuitive life coach. Her clients are often struggling with feelings of powerlessness because of a health situation, relationship, their sensitivity, or their career. She provides spiritual insight with practical coaching to empower them to create positive change and greater well-being. Check out her blog website for information on empowerment readings, clubs, programs, and more! http://www.EmpoweringLightworkers.com

Posted on March 6, 2011, in Grow Your Spiritual Gifts, Nurture Yourself and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Hi Nancy,
    Really like your blog. One thing that has helped me recently with fear and worry is to give myself a break from it. Let’s say I need to make a decision in a few weeks and I don’t know what to do, I’ll let myself think about it again in a week. So often, we are worried about things that we really don’t need to worry about in the moment. Glad I found you- great article. I don’t know if we ever totally transcend fear- or that we should. I think we can definitely minimize it in our life by staying in tune with spirit, but we are human after all.

    • Hi Pamela!
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts! That’s an excellent suggestion! I’ve done that myself with other things…it does seem to help if you say you’ll think about it later rather than trying to get yourself to not think about it at all. Thanks again for sharing!
      Blessings to you!
      Nancy

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